Monday, January 5, 2009

Truck snakes

I'm posting part of my Eulogy for my mother, it's ok, it's not too sappy or sad, I'm still not sure why this is so much easier in a blog than talking to people but anyway here it is. (giving the Eulogy tomorrow, scared to death, taking a xanax before the reading so it will have a nice zombie like quality to it. Valerie

When my daughter was born I remember wondering what kind of mother I would be and what things I would pass from my mother on to her . I had a hard time narrowing it down to one thing that I thought was the most important. Her sense of humor and her storytelling were two things that stood out for me but the most important was her spirit of adventure and her enthusiasm.
She taught her children not to be afraid of trying new things, even stupid things. She took me Michelle and Scott cross country in the 70's, From Virginia. to Utah. Remember there was a big gas crisis then. I remember she took us in an old Volkswagen van to see "Rocky" at a drive in theater. Now mom was always more of an adventurer than a planner, so when the movie was over we found we were almost out of gas and no stations were open. There was room for me, Michelle and Scott to sleep in the van but no her so she parked in a gas station. After bedding us down she climbed in to a strange truck cab with her pillow and blanket to sleep. When we woke at dawn we looked out to see the reassuring site of our mother waving to us out of the cab of the truck. We waved back and went back to sleep. It turned out that once she got in the truck she noticed that there were no door handles or window rollers. She was well and truly stuck and to top it off she could hear what she was sure were truck snakes slithering around on the floor of the cab. I think my mom was so great, how many moms would have climbed up into the cab to begin with and then to be able to laugh about it, we laughed for absolutely years about that.

I really am doing ok, thanks for all the kindness people have shown. Sometimes I think I might be doing too well, but then a box of red berry cereal that we bought when she was alive sends me into paraxoms of grief. It's ok though i think that's all part of washing away the grief. thanks valerie

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  1. that's a cool story, valerie. and funny, too. I'd love to read more :-). How lucky you are to have had so much fun with your mom....
    I'll be thinking about you tomorrow.

  2. i will be thinking of you too friend. of course you will make everyone laugh while they are crying! everything is part of your grief, right now you are busy and have stuff to keep you busy...later it will keep hitting you at really weird times, totally unexpected...even years later. and you should, as one friend said in your last post, give into the grief. it's healthy to deal with stuff. geez, i wish i could give you a hug. :(

  3. That is a beautiful eulogy. I'm sure those are exactly the memories your mom would want you to remember and share with others. You are amazingly brave to do a eulogy. You are the perfect one to do it, but I didn't think you would. I think you will look back and find it to be the best possible goodbye. I wish you didn't have to deal with this. I miss you. Just because this message seems all Polyanna with "best" and "perfect" and other sparkly adjectives, don't think I have changed. I'm still the spiteful, shallow, materialistic, cynical, judgmental friend you remember.

  4. Good luck with the eulogy. Thankg goodness for xanax!

  5. Thank you everyone, I did the eulogy and it went ok. It was sort of a Zombie like delivery but it's done. I really do feel like my mom is at peace. Love Valerie