Tuesday, October 14, 2008

spooky tart

I am writing this quietly, huddled in a back bedroom, listening for the tiny patter of plastic feet tiptoing up the stairs. Today I found spooky tart in the basement, She is a doll that a neighbor giave us. I love the neighbor, but am less enamored with spooky tart. She is I guess a lolita doll. She looks like a five year old with perky breasts and makeup and little plastic feet made for high heels. Anyway when I went downstairs to the spooky basement I found her laying on a mattress with a pillow under her head. Earlier in the day she was leaning in her usual sad neglected slutty way against an old couch. I know i saw her because when I did I remember thinking I could use her to get on the carpool lane. I guess we will just brick up the basement and wash our clothes down in the creek cause I am never going down there again. I wanted to get rid of spooky tart last year but couldn't think how. She was a gift so I couldn't give her to one of the neighbors. I couldn't bring myself to put her in a plastic bag and put her in the trash and I couldnt bring her the the local thrift stores, my neighbors go there. I had visions of throwing her in a dumpster, someone seeing her and thinking it was a child (a slutty one, calling the police and it making the news. The neighbors would recognize their doll and hate me. A lot of thought goes into this. I can't bear to see toys thrown away, I mean dolls and stuffed animals, not puzzles or anything. I rescued a stuffed animal that someone threw away and I couldn't bear to see it lying on the road I had to pass it everyday on my way to work. It was a white bear with a red bow lying right next to the hampton roads bridge tunnel enterance. 8 months pregnant and drunk with hormones I got out of my car to run rescue the bedraggled bear. I know that all the people in traffic were saying "OH Fred, give that rally poor crazy old pregnant woman a dollar. Sophie has 11 million toys so she doesn't need any more but I always imagine they are laying there wondering what happned. Anyway I digress, if something happens to me tell the world that it was Spooky Tramp. Pictures of her to follow when it is light outside. Valerie P.s. Sophie seems to be flashing a gang symbol in the second picture so not only is our basement haunted but sophie is a Crip, those are her gang colors.

1 comment:

  1. Does your neighbor knows about this blog? hehehehe
    I can imagine the adventures of getting rid of that doll in an episode of "My Name Is Earl": so funny!
    And I a bsolutely love that big cat face you painted!!!