Sunday, December 28, 2008
Glorious
My mom passed away two days ago. It has been a horrible time and I'm not really sure why I'm putting it in a blog. I haven't called any of the people, except Bob, who are close to me because I just can't face it. I keep feeling like I am walking at the bottom of the ocean and that this can't be real. But it is. Thanks to everyone who has read my blog and left comments. This has been my touch stone to sanity and the real world. Things will return to normal in a few weeks and I know it won't always be this bad. People up here have been very very kind. On christmas day we had to rush to the hospital because mom wasn't doing well and the staff had gathe4redd about 100 gifts for Sophie and wrapped them so that she could have something to unwrap. A complete stranger held my hand and prayed for me. That really helped. I don't even know who she is to thank her. My mom's father in law always called her Glorious, instead of Gloria and she really was. I am glad I was able to be here this year to be with her and to let Sophie know her grandmother. We are taking her body to Utah next week to bury her by her mother. I hope she is with her mother now. My wonderful hsuband gave me the freedom and his blessings to stay here and care for her and I will always be so thankful to have him. Anyway more later as life returns to normal. I never know what to write in these situations when they happen to someone else. I just usually try ot move to another country to try to escape the pain. So for all the people I didn't help, I'm really sorry, I didn't understand. Love to all my friends. Valerie
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valerie my sweet friend, i am crying as i write this to you because i SOOOO wish i could sit with you now, and hug you and cry with you. i am so sorry. there are no words i can offer, nothing can fill that hole. i am so glad for you and for her and for sophie that you did have these last few months together, even though it was during such a stressful and sad time. please remember there is no wrong way to grieve, be and do what you need to friend. be kind to yourself most of all. i am here for you any time you need to talk, even if you feel it is crazy talk, because believe me that will happen. my heart and sorrows goes out to you friend, i wish i could help you somehow.
ReplyDeleteOh Kat, I wish you were here too. I'm not sure how to get through this. Drugs spring to mind but Sophie has grown used to being cared for so that's out. I know you were able to do it and at a much younger age. Just the stupid circle of life I guess. Thanks. Valerie
ReplyDeleteDear Valerie,
ReplyDeleteWe don't really know each other. Just passing neighbors on the street. I have watched Sophie grow up though, and know she is adored by all. My heart breaks for you and your loss, and though no words can reduce your sorrow, I would, as a human being, take on any amount of your pain that could be given. Please, let Riverview do what ever we can for you. Let us make meals for you, when you return from Utah - or even if Sophie needs to come to my house for an hour, so you can just cry - she's more than welcome. I have lots of Sharpies! She would be quite content. Although I might draw the line at her drawing on Reagan. Please let me know when you will be back and what we can do for you. It's what Kat would do and since she isn't here, well - we all know - you don't piss off hippies. Rachael
rachaelfussell@gmail.com
So sorry about your loss Valerie.
ReplyDeleteRachael, Sara, thanks so much for your kindness. It helps. My tiny darling Sophie is doing alright so far. She tells me stories about my mom up hugging her mother in heaven. It's comforting. valerie
ReplyDeleteOh Val,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear this. I'm ashamed that a friend had to write me (who I turned on to your funny blog) to tell me she read that your mother had died. I haven't been a very good friend. Please do call and lean on your friends as you feel the desire to. I know you will keep to yourself for a while, but it probably will help to be with others eventually. I remember my sister and nephews said that it was actually a relief when my brother-in-law died after about a year and a half of dealing with the cancer. I think they felt guilty at feeling relief, but how can it not be when someone you love can finally stop suffering? I wish I had some inane and ridiculous story to make you smile, but I got nothin'. We are all thinking about you. Phoebe will pray for you. Gresham will probably push thoughts of you away fairly soon to make room for super heros. We love you. xx
I am now in trouble for not mentioning Hayden's condolences in particular. He specifically told me to tell you. I read him what I wrote and he immediately complained that I only mentioned Phoebe and Gresham by name. Go figure. I'm now on grief comfort restriction.
ReplyDeleteVictoria, tell Hayden and the kids I said thanks. Things here are better, or at least not so overwhelming. The fact that we are involved in a family fued that would embarras Anna Nicole Smith helps. It is easier to be mad than sorrowful. Talk to you soon. Valerie
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you have something to distract you. Please remember the Marie Osmond makeover when it is time for your picture on the front of the Enquirer regarding the family feud.
ReplyDeleteValerie - I don't know you but I happened upon your blog - I am so sorry for your loss - you didn't ask for my advice but here it is - give yourself the gift of grieving in spite of others wanting you to "get on with your life". And keep your mother alive in Sophie's memories. God Bless you.
ReplyDeleteDear Happy Heart Princess. Thanks for your kindness. It helps. Valerie
ReplyDeleteHi Valerie, I am Connies daughter Sam. I was very sad to hear about Gloria. Even though I only got to hang out with her a couple times in my life I remember every one of them like they were yeasterday. She was an amazing woman that will be greatly missed.
ReplyDeleteHi Sam, we have never met, but i have heard all about you. my mom really thought a lot of you. Sorry we haven't been in touch, even after your wedding, but as you can see from the blog your Virginia cousins are awful people. Looking forward to meeting you in Utah. Love your second cousin (I think) Valerie
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about your loss Val. What an amazing gift to be able to spend that time together, I hope you and Sophie treasure it always. I can't even comprehend what you are going through. I will get in touch with you after things calm down.
ReplyDeleteHi Valerie! it's Connie's "other daughter" Char, I can tell we're totally related by your blogs. I was so sad to hear of Gloria's death, she was always so supportive of my dreams, and always encouraged me to do whatever I wanted!! She once told me that I reminded her of herself, and that was one of the greatest compliments I ever received!
ReplyDeleteHi Char, Thanks. She liked all of you so much. See you in about two weeks. Valerie
ReplyDelete